The Cold Treatment
By The Cold Treatment
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The podcast where we act out and critique people's scripts. Attention sufferers of writers block, depression, boredom, anxiety, and chronic aphonophobia. A superb new elixir is available to relieve you of all your afflictions! Ask your local druggist for The Cold Treatment. This fine preparation has been tediously crafted through the miracles of science by our trifecta of brilliant clinicians, and is conveniently administrable directly through the earhole. You there- put down that whiskey bottle, and pick up The Cold Treatment!
||CleanSerially Delayed||We haven't read this script in any way, shape, or form. Because no one wrote it. This isn't "The Cold Treatment" This is the cold truth! (Can you handle the truth?). This is the story of broadcasters turned broad disasters. Scandal?...||9/29/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean39. The Lemon Tree||Happy Picnic Day! Dr. Mike Corey and special guest Brandon Kissman join us for a reading about the perils of Australian lemon thievery! Along the way we discuss the desirability of various juices, what Joe DOESN'T want to do to your children at the...||7/30/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit38. Babes||Special guest Dr. Mike Corey joins the gang to read a short comedy about living blow-up dolls. If that doesn't pique your interest, stay tuned for the darkest and raunchiest "would you rather" sessions ever heard on the podcast, or perhaps ever in the..||7/6/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit37. Because Everybody Dies||The gang reads a comedy about an unlikely duo brought together by the death of a mutual "acquaintance". Then they get down and dirty with actual facts about fuckboys. Oh, and there's some beatboxing, improv, sex noises, and even a few review notes...||6/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit36. Gone Too Soon||The gang reads a divinely dark comedy with a twist that is sure to knock your head off! Along the way, they coin the term "flubbing", compare LBJs, and worship at the feet of Socal magician, David Blaine. Music: Gaze by Young Kartz, Gods...||5/24/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit35. Inscrewtable||Special Guest Mark Wahlberg joins TCT to promote his upcoming summer blockbuster Inscrewtable! Featuring the original Anti-Screw song "Screw The Screws" written and performed by Shawny J! Download and stream here on Soundcloud! Other Music:...||5/10/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit34. Sitcoms & Silliness||This week, special guest Tiddlywinks rejoins the gang to read a post-apocalyptic children's sitcom! You read that correctly. Also, Joe gives us all a valuable sex tip! Download and listen to our smash hit Fish Vagina! Music: Avicii - Wake Me Up -...||4/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean33. Bubonic||Special guest Patty D helps the gang make some horrifically arousing noises, Mason goes full creature, Joe becomes a mother, and Shawn attempts to rationalize his carnal desire for aquatic cartoons.||4/9/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean32. Smart Bed||The gang makes its triumphant return to read a "smart" comedy largely taking place in a bed. Later, Mason's batteries die, Joe speaks out of turn about Reddit Gold, Shawn displays why he would make a terrible Disney executive, and everyone wonders...||3/11/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean31. Areola Bareillis||Max Holland joins the gang yet again! In this episode we read Areola Barellis- a short comedy that explores themes such as anatomy, astronomy, and early 2000s singer-songwriters. This episode brought to you by Wendy's Strawberry Passionfruit FruiTea...||2/8/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean30. American Cannibal||The gang is joined by special guest Matt "Tiddlywinks" Schmoyer for a script taking place in New York City in 1989, where a young urban professional lives a second life as a gruesome serial cannibal. Later, hear Shawn's horrible voice and super...||1/30/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit29. Shelltered||The gang reads a comedy about two bumbling criminals and a turtle suffering from cabin fever. Also, Mason tells us where David Spade is from, Shawn explains his distaste for pork and undying love for a beer that doesn't sponsor us, and Joe severely...||1/16/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit28. The Applicant||For the first time ever, Mason joins the gang in studio once again joined by Max R. Holland to read a script dealing with a disturbed man attempting to get a job and turn his life around, as well as give their spin on Frankenstein job applications and..||1/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit27. Wednesday||The gang goes mental as they read about a few days in the lives of two long-time friends with mental disorders. Later, Shawn is depressed and barfs up a peppercorn, Joe becomes an addict, and Mason is a completely normal Spelling Nazi who likes to...||12/28/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean26. Sugarcane||The gang reads an intense short that is anything but sweet. Later, Shawn gives his take on the script before opening up the round table for a group discussion on Quinten Tarantino, "vengeance porn", and untimely erections including an eloquent...||12/13/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit25. Daddy||The gang reads an action-packed tale about a hitman looking for redemption. Later, Mason and Shawn gang up on Joe because he's never seen Mrs. Doubtfire, debate Charles Manson's parenting skills, and find new ways to appreciate orphans. Music: Pink...||12/5/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean24. Late Fees||The gang reads a short retail comedy for the shopping season that you won't want to be "late" for. Later, Joe has to leave early to take care of his turkey problems, leaving the other guys try to joke around about hit movies they've mostly never heard..||11/29/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit23. A Bitter Disagreement||The gang stumbles their way through a story about a lost love that falls into a dark void. Later, they debate about clouds, make fun of big words, and solve "cum dilemmas". SPOILER ALERT: Mason and Shawn "guzzle Goesling" and Joe takes his chances...||11/21/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit22. Lover's Peak||The gang reads a horrific short that is sure to suck the life out of you! (No vampires!) Later, Joe is a prostitute, Mason is a robot, and Shawn gets a new nickname. Also, the first ever on-air phone call is made, a historic moment in Cold Treatment...||11/14/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit21. The Montenegrin Seaslug||The gang reads a film noir parody. Later, Mason teaches us what "saccharine" means, Shawn pitches James Franco to everyone, and Joe doesn't even exist. Music: Heroes of the Teslapunk by Tri-Tachyon, Dances and Dames by Kevin MacLeod, Night on...||11/7/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit20. The Wheels on the Bus||The gang reads a comedic short which thrusts them into a wacky adventure that doesn't break for anyone. Later, they talk about Tom Hanks and belts (the kind you wear) for some reason and make fun of the way Joe pronounces things. Music: Mickey Maos by..||11/1/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit19. Seeds of Eternity||The gang reads a heartwarming British short about a father-son conflict. Later, the conversation tackles a wide variety of topics ranging from Shakespeare to hypothetically having mayonnaise for ejaculate. Music: Undercover Vampire Policeman by Chris...||10/17/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit18. Don't Be Afraid||The gang reads a short script casting them as an African American family in an apocalyptic city. Later, they mostly talk about chewing gum. Music: Poligamia by U.M.M. Drown by Altered:Carbon Runsten by Are Sonor Godsstation by Our Last...||9/26/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean17. Templars||The gang doesn't discover hidden American treasure in this one, but they do consider buying an oculus rift while they perform a cold read of a sci-fi fantasy pilot.||9/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean16. Red Velvet||The gang celebrates Mason's birthday by reading a beautifully depressing story about cupcakes. Music: R.E.D. by A Tribe Called Red, Take Me To The River by The Talking Heads, Various Soundtrack Music by Kevin McLeod||8/29/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit15. Nursing Home||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of nursing home based drama. Later, Joe misses an obvious plot point, Shawn leads us onto tangents on 90s movies and capitalizing on tragedy, and Mason sings us happy birthday. Music: Chopin...||8/7/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit14. Applied Philosophy||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a short philosophical narrative. Later, Mason teaches us about the Library of Babel, Joe complains about the writer's name, and Shawn impersonates Pharrell Williams. Applied Philosophy written by...||7/30/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit13. The Dairy Farmer's Daughter||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a milk-based psychological thriller. Followed by a heated argument in which Shawn rails against "literal lactose intolerance", and a blooper reel loaded with some eerily disturbing sounds. Script...||7/23/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit12. Paint The City Blue||The gang performs a cold read of a Seattle crime drama. Royalty Free Music by Kevin Macleod - www.incompetech.com/music||7/17/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit11. Stuck Back||Joe, Shawn, & Mason are joined by special guest Max R. Holland to perform a cold read of a coming-of-age homecoming dramedy. Music: Frozen Egg by Lame Drivers Swan Song by Paper Navy Solo Acoustic Guitar by Jason Shaw Little Chance by...||7/9/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit10. Bait||Joe, Shawn, & Mason perform a cold read of a otherworldly surreal sci-fi comedy. Bait written by Daniel Bracey Music: Happytime by Podington Bear, Hotel Rodeo by Anitek feat. DSpliff, The Last Question by Lee Rosevere, Hopes and Dreams...||6/26/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit9. Lovelock||Joe, Shawn, & Mason perform a cold read of a black sci-fi comedy. Music: Belview by C. Scott, Raw Instrumental Pt. 1 by Digi G'Alessio, Runtime Error by Peter Sharp, Five Minutes at the Rainforest Cafe by Macaw, Favorite Secrets by Waylon...||6/18/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean8. F**k! Zombies!||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a horrifying webisode! Music: Zombie by The Cranberries Royalty Free Music by Kevin Macleod - www.incompetech.com/music||6/5/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit7. Coffee Date||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a short romance. Coffee Date written by Bronson West Music: Night Owl by Broke For Free Hachiko (The Faithful Dog) by The Kyoto Connection Jupiter the Blue by Gillicuddy Big Gay Water Fight by...||5/29/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit6. God Bless FM Radio||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a short groovy thriller.||5/14/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit5. Intel||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a short science fiction thriller.||5/5/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit4. Follow||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a political drama.||5/5/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit3. A Crazy Salty Thing Called Love||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a short comedy.||5/5/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit2. A Date With Death||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a short romance.||5/5/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit1. Super||Joe, Shawn, and Mason perform a cold read of a short drama.||5/4/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
What’s cooler than being cool?
Listening to these Philly cats try to bring amateur scripts to life.
Sometimes they’re half baked, sometimes they’re surprisingly cohesive. Doesn’t matter. These guys make every script a roast, and any screenwriter should get a lesson and a laugh from hearing what works, what doesn’t, and how fun it should be either way.
Real review, not an actor.
My husband says he’ll divorce me if I don’t give The Cold Treatment 5 stars. He’s not on it or anything he just feels that strongly about it.
Actual Facts Great Podcast
This is actual facts a great podcast to listen to. You can listen to it in a car, in a boat, while going for a walk jog, while watching your fish tank, while watching the show Shark Tank (on mute ofc), while eating lunch. Actual facts a good podcast both for writers and readers. Loved especially “Because Everybody Dies”.