The Life Toyetic with Ben and Molly
By The Life Toyetic with Ben and Molly
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What's the fastest way to launch toys off of shelves and into the hands of eager, impressionable young consumers? Turning your toy franchise into a major motion picture, of course! Join Ben Paddon and Molly Alice Hoy as they boldly venture into the realm of "toyetic" cinema -- movies that were conceived and produced solely to promote toys -- and subject these glorified, feature-length commercials to a level of critical analysis that they were never intended to withstand.
||Explicit#25 – Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper (2004) – Just Gals Being Pals||In this special musical episode, Ben and Molly watch the comparatively chaste Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper (2004), and against all odds still manage to kink it up. Ben integrates some hair-related trauma.||10/9/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#24 – Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965) – Doctor Reginald VelJohnson Who||Ben takes Molly on a whirlwind tour of his favorite sci-fi property by subjecting her to Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965), a film which does a questionable job of capitalizing on the Dalekmania of the 1960s. Ben subsequently regrets every choice he has ev.||10/2/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#23 – Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) – Two Heads, Four Breasts, Can’t Lose||Ben and Molly stew in disappointment after failing to be titillated by Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001). Ben discovers an ugly truth that threatens to derail his comedy career. Molly fondly recalls her own conception.||9/25/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#22 – Jem and the Holograms (2015) – I Just Saw a Robot J**z Out My Father||Ben and Molly put their ignorance of the beloved ’80s property on full display as they traverse the unexpected kink minefield that is Jem and the Holograms (2015). Ben presents a textbook case of Stockholm Syndrome.||9/18/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#21 – Batman & Robin (1997) – Chekhov’s Buns||Ben and Molly can barely handle the sheer volume of awakenings brought on by the questionably toyetic yet unquestionably sexy Batman & Robin (1997). Ben hosts a star-studded potluck dinner. Molly discovers her new style icon.||9/13/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#20 – Barbie of Swan Lake (2003) – Frasier Zero||Is there trouble in paradise? Ben and Molly clumsily grope for common ground after a viewing of Barbie of Swan Lake (2003) leaves them at odds. Ben reaches his kink breaking point. Molly strives to be her Best Self.||8/22/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#19 – Battleship (2012) – The ’50 First Dates’ Extended Cinematic Universe||Ben and Molly weep, wail, and gnash their teeth through the massive mistake of a film that is Battleship (2012). Ben bemoans a dearth of on-screen breasts. Molly is forced to confront all of her deepest and most primal fears.||8/15/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#18 – Furby Island (2005) – A Wretched Grim Matryoshka of Despair||Things take a dark turn after a viewing of Furby Island (2005) brings Ben and Molly face to face with their own mortality. Ben grievously insults the entire Australian continent. Molly’s worldview is shaken to its core.||8/8/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#17 – Pokémon: The Movie 2000 (1999) – The Birds and the Balls||Molly’s wife Timber fills in for a truant Ben to participate in a marriage-testing viewing of the benign but bland Pokémon: The Movie 2000 (1999). Molly recalls a harrowing lube experience. Timber thinks that Pokémon should be able to vote.||7/24/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#16 – Dungeons & Dragons (2000) – Too Many McGuffins||Ben and Molly fail their wisdom saving throws against Dungeons & Dragons (2000) and are confused for the duration. Ben makes yet another unsuccessful attempt to sell Molly on Doctor Who. Molly embarks on an epic quest to find a piece of extremely obsc||7/18/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#15 – Barbie as Rapunzel (2002) – God Bless Robert McKee||Like an angel of mercy, Robert McKee swoops down to bless Ben and Molly with the surprisingly enjoyable Barbie as Rapunzel (2002). Ben betrays a suspicious amount of familiarity with Sonic mpreg fanfiction.||7/3/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#14 – The Angry Birds Movie (2016) – Unlimited Access To My Mouth||In this 420 friendly episode, Ben and Molly load into a comically oversized slingshot and launch themselves at The Angry Birds Movie (2016). Ben bravely soldiers on in the face of traumatic Emoji Movie flashbacks.||6/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#13 – Candy Land: The Great Lollipop Adventure (2005) – Kink Andy||Ben and Molly come down with the psychological equivalent of a stomachache after consuming Candy Land: The Great Lollipop Adventure (2005). Ben composes a lengthy dissertation on his personal candy bar preferences.||6/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#12 – Transformers (2007) – Samwise Gangee Has Got The AllSpark||Michael Bay is singlehandedly responsible for ruining this episode, in which Ben and Molly lose 143 minutes of their lives to the cinematic monstrosity Transformers (2007). Ben invents an effective but questionably humane form of euthanasia.||5/30/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#11 – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995) – Boobie-Wan Kenobi||Ben and Molly metaphorically throw themselves out of the plane that is Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995). Ben discovers the next great visual artist of our generation. Molly dictates a legally binding letter of final wishes.||5/9/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#10 – Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001) – Mocap, Mo’ Problems||Ben and Molly perform a dark ritual to sacrifice 78 minutes of their finite mortal lives to the shifting, shapeless spectre of a film that is Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001). Ben astral projects for the first time.||4/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#09 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) – Teentle Meentle Neentle Tootles||Dick jokes abound as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) gives Ben and Molly an unsolicited crash course in turtle puberty. Ben composes a set of exceedingly helpful mnemonic poems to keep the turtles’ names straight.||4/3/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#08 – My Little Pony: The Movie (1986) – I Guess I’ll Die||Still reeling from the previous episode, Ben and Molly look to My Little Pony: The Movie (1986) for mercy and find none. Ben recalls the first time he realized that love is dead. Molly acquires short-term amnesia as a coping mechanism.||3/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#07 – The Emoji Movie (2017) – Apples||Ben holds Molly at friendshippoint and forces her to watch The Emoji Movie (2017), a plan which backfires spectacularly. Ben makes a heartfelt personal entreaty to Patrick Stewart. Molly accidentally composes a stirring piece of poetry.||3/13/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#06 – The LEGO Movie (2014) – When You Lost The Magic||After suffering through an unbroken string of terrible films, Ben and Molly find respite in The Lego Movie (2014) and admittedly aren’t quite sure what to do with themselves in the absence of searing psychological pain.||3/6/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#05 – Barbie and the Rockers: Out of This World / Barbie and the Sensations: Rockin’ Back to Earth (1987) – The Sensations Are Cramps||Ben and Molly Lamaze breathe through all 45 minutes of Barbie and the Rockers and Barbie and the Sensations: Rockin’ Back to Earth (1987) – for science! Ben devises the perfect murder for Neil DeGrasse Tyson.||2/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#04 – Pokémon: The First Movie (1998) – My Charizard From Hell||Ben and Molly look on in bewilderment as Pokémon: The First Movie (1998) accidentally dismantles the very foundation of its franchise’s premise. Ben makes the best joke of his entire career. Molly is mostly just relieved at the absence of weird sexu||2/12/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#03 – Super Mario Bros. (1993) – “It’s A Blast!”||Ben and Molly put both their friendship and their general psychological resiliency to the test with a viewing of Super Mario Bros. (1993). Ben unlearns everything he has ever known about dinosaurs. Molly creates the best portmanteau of all time.||2/5/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#02 – Masters of the Universe (1987) – Two Bags of Skittles||In this sophomore(ic) episode, Ben and Molly watch Masters of the Universe (1987) and make virtually no attempt to hide the fact that they would have much rather watched Flight of the Navigator. Ben tries and fails to rein in the sexiness.||1/29/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit#01 – Trolls (2016) – Naked Troll Encounter||In this racy premiere episode, Ben and Molly watch Trolls (2016), a psychedelic fever dream of a film whose apparent directive is to incite in its young viewers as many kink awakenings as possible. Ben reveals a secret online double life.||1/22/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
Toys and movies!
Ben and Molly are great hosts! The show is fun and explores the interesting way Toys feed into the movie industry. Take a listen!
Ben and Molly have a great rapport and make even the most terrible movies (Masters of the Universe) entertaining to discuss. A fun fresh approach to the "bad movie" podcast format. Give it a listen!
Funny People, Good Times
3 episodes in and the laughs haven't slowed down one bit! The rapport these two have is awesome! The perspectives and opinions they have about each movie are always so hilarious and incredibly observant! It's a learning experience that makes you feel good.