UNTITLED: The Long Trek Home
By Untitled: The Long Trek Home
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Chelsea and SEM host a weekly Star Trek podcast, discussing every single episode of the series in order, including the original series, the animated series, Next Generation, DS9, Voyager ... you get the idea. We're boldly going where at least one other podcast has probably gone before. Trek news, video games and other ephemera are also touched upon. Visit our website or follow us on Tumblr for updates, or subscribe on iTunes.
||Explicit61: Spectre of the Gun: Wild Wild West||A spectre is haunting Star Trek: The Original Series season 3 - the Spectre of the Gun. All the powers of the Federation have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Kirk and Spock, human and Vulcan, Klingon and Romulan. Where is...||9/1/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit60: Is There No Truth In Beauty?: Hexagonal Prisms||chelsea and SEM watch TOS season 3 episode "Is There No Truth In Beauty?" the crew is super horny, an alien lives in a box, and spock wears special glasses. it's OK!||8/17/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit59: And The Children Shall Lead: Ring Around The Rosie [REMIX]||UPDATE: libsyn did something wrong and originally cut off the ending of this episode. you may need to refresh your feed to get the full version?? -- these are some bad kids, folks! chelsea and SEM talk season 3 TOS episode "And The Children Shall...||8/8/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 58: The Paradise Syndrome: Nice Scenery||The crew lands on a planet and Kirk promptly falls in a hole and gets amnesia. Chelsea and SEM try to deal with the episode's events as best they can. This time, Long Trek Home discusses the Star Trek TOS season 3 episode "The Paradise Syndrome" ...!...||7/25/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 57: The Enterprise Incident: [borat voice] my wife||NOTE: An updated version of this episode was uploaded on 7/19/2017. If you notice voices playing on only one stereo channel, you may need to redownload the episode or refresh your podcast feed to get the corrected version. -- Hey, this episode's...||7/18/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 56: Spock's Brain: Oh No||jeff comes back to help chelsea and SEM deal with the first episode of star trek: the original series season three, "spock's brain." oh jeez. just ... oh, jeez. oh no. oh boy. note: this episode is out a week late because SGDQ happened....||7/11/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEPISODE X: Season 2 Wrap-Up: we got an email||At the end of season two, we got an e-mail! We also talked about season 2 and listed our favorite episodes. C'mon down and check it out.||6/27/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 55: Assignment: Earth: Your New Favorite Millennial History Podcast||we watched the final episode of star trek TOS season 2 - "assignment: earth" it's a failed pilot for a show that never happened, and your intrepid hosts don't need long to figure out why. chelsea and sem get on a conference call with guest host jeff...||6/20/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 54: Bread and Circuses: Slaves to the NHS||this episode forces us to dig into the nitty gritty of slavery and also jesus. chelsea doesn't go in depth with marxist theory. modern day rome has a tv station that is a point of contention between the hosts. spock and bones do a lot of fighting for...||6/13/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 53: The Ultimate Computer: The Only Winning Move||We watched "The Ultimate Computer" from Star Trek TOS season 2! It was really good! unionize now and then you can rise from the dead update: now the file is louder||6/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 52: The Omega Glory: A Star Captain's Most Solemn Oath||In this very special Memorial Day episode, which was absolutely recorded that way on purpose, we swear, we watched Star Trek: TOS episode "The Omega Glory." You should absolutely watch "The Omega Glory" ASAP. Please, it is incredible and neither of us..||5/30/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 51: By Any Other Name: Space Invaders||We're still watching season 2 of Star Trek: The Original Series! This time, we watched "By Any Other Name," an episode about horrifying tentacle monsters who basically just look like human beings who make slightly off fashion choices. This episode is...||5/23/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 50: Patterns of Force: Uniform Thieves Anonymous||it's the nazi episode. there's nazis, but in space! this is a weird, weird episode. but it's not bad? there's unsubtle metaphor, non-metaphor, and just so much heil-ing. so much. we barely mention it in the episode, but trust me, it's...||5/18/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 49: Return to Tomorrow: Podcaster's Fiat||We're still on season 2 of TOS, folks, the Star Trek season that never ends. This time we watched "Return to Tomorrow." A terrible man of online haunts this episode like a grim spectre. Bodies are stolen, women are real, and we love orb. Chelsea gets...||5/9/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 48: A Private Little War: Full Metal Vest||Warning - This episode has some pretty heavy themes, including some very rape-y bits. Our mission to watch all of Star Trek continues. We're in the middle of season 2, and watched "A Private Little War." Anyway, hey, this episode sure is a Vietnam War..||5/4/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 46: A Piece of the Action: A Piece of the Action||You know that episode of Star Trek: The Original Series where there's just a whole planet full of gangsters? This is that one. People get kidnapped over and over, the phrase 'a piece of the action' is said about a hundred times, and Kirk wears a...||4/13/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 45: The Gamesters of Triskelion: Gone Galt||The quest to watch all of Star Trek continues, this time with TOS episode "The Gamesters of Triskelion"...! Chelsea watched this episode two weeks before the episode and can't decipher her notes, SEM is the only one who can pronounce Ayn Rand, and we...||4/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEPISODE X: MUDD IN YOUR EYE: THEYRE DIFFERENT GUYS||we've been doing this show for a year, so to mix things up a little, we read a book!!!! it's a star trek book, don't worry. it's called "mudd in your eye" and it is certainly a piece of fiction that was published. by the way, we're taking next week...||3/21/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 44: The Trouble With Tribbles: Agricultural Studies Department||this episode is an absolute auditory hell and there's nothing i can do about it. im sorry. we had two guests and things went awry. kirk lied, tribbles died both hosts' moms are guests on this episode!!!!!!||3/14/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 43: Wolf In The Fold: She's Gonna Die||what is a psycho-tricorder help||3/9/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 42: Obsession: you can tell hes upset because he keeps his shirt on||We're a podcast dedicated to watching all of Star Trek, forever. Every episode. Even the TOS episode "Obsession." This time, Leslie dies, a cloud fries, and Kirk ... okay, he doesn't cry, my rhyme scheme's falling apart already. I tried. We learn...||3/1/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 41: The Deadly Years: Geriatric Medicine||I love space socialism with occasional money IMPORTANT REFERENCE MATERIAL AS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: https://imgur.com/a/c5V4c note: chicago is having summer in february so there's A Lot of ambient noise, enjoy||2/23/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 40: Friday's Child: The Plural of Shuriken||We're still watching Star Trek: The Original Series. This time, we watched "Friday's Child." This is the one where McCoy has a kid! Sort of! Scotty longs for blood, McCoy has a baby, and bows and arrows are a surprising technology.Deem slips into...||2/16/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 39: Journey to Babel: Expert Neck Snapping||this episode has spock's dad in it and also a space murder mystery it's extremely good||2/11/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 38: Metamorphosis: Glow Cloud Romance||We're still watching the original series! This time, we watched "Metamorphosis" from season two of Star Trek. This is the one where we meet Zefram Cochrane! New-fangled morals mean it's OK to f**k a cloud, old-fashioned views on gender aside. Ion...||1/26/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 37: I, Mudd: STELLLAAAAAAAAAA||We’re back, and still watching Star Trek! This time, it’s TOS episode “I, Mudd.” Chelsea's mom guest stars. This is the one where Mudd ISN'T involved in sex trafficking! This episode is amazing. Please watch it. Everything about it was...||1/19/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 36: Catspaw: Baby Alligator Foley Work||We're back, and still watching Star Trek! This time, it's TOS episode "Catspaw." SEM's dad Pete guest stars. This is the one with the giant cat shadow! A crewman dies, there's a wizard with a dope robe, and some of the most incredible special effects...||1/4/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 35: The Doomsday Machine: The Phantom Edit||im really sick this week so like : we watched an episode that's a moby dick fanfic set during the cold war but also in space. please listen to our good star trek show. we're in the middle of TOS right now, as usual. next week will probably...||12/20/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 34: The Apple: Terrible||The mission to watch all of Star Trek, forever, continues! We're still in the midst of the original series. "The Apple" is a hell of an episode. Get this: it's a bad episode of Trek. Chelsea is sick and tired, KarnacaCast isn't happening, and SEM is...||12/13/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 33: Mirror, Mirror: Oiling My Traps IRL||Long Trek Home got trapped in a parallel universe where everyone is evil, but now the hosts have broken through and the editor has finished editing a weeks-old episode. No one's evil on the podcast, but they sure are on Star Trek's "Mirror, Mirror."...||12/6/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 32: The Changeling: That's Not How Mythology Works||We're back, at last! Sorry for the missed week. A whole host of current events happened, y'all! The schedule resumes as usual now. This week - or last week, technically - we watched the Star Trek: The Original Series episode "The Changeling." This is...||11/15/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode X: SEASON 1 WRAP UP: NO SUBTITLES NO MASTERS||This is a Star Trek podcast. We watched all of TOS season 1. Now we're going to watch season 2. It has our favorite episodes from season 1, though! We rank them! Please have a nice time! Thanks.||10/26/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 31: Who Mourns For Adonais?: I weep for Adonais—he is dead!||We're still watching Star Trek, and this time we've hit the TOS episode "Who Mourns for Adonais?" This is the one with Apollo! Kirk is a huge Ancient Aliens fan, Chekov rules, a costume requires glue, and we figure out the inspirations behind...||10/18/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 30: Amok Time: Chekov's Here!||Chekov is here! Everyone! We made it to Chekov! Our mission to watch every episode of Star Trek gets even easier with the advent of our good Russian space friend. This time, we watched the first episode of season 2 of the original series, "Amok Time."..||10/10/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 29: Operation: Annihilate!: Let's: Punctuate!||At last, we've reached our first waypoint - it's the end of season one of Star Trek: The Original series! Our mission continues, but for now, we talk about the episode "Operation: Annihilate!" and all the wonders it contains. This is the one with the...||10/4/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 28: The City on the Edge of Forever: "Repent, Harlan!" Says the Podcast Host||Our effort to watch all of Star Trek forever continues, and we're finally at that one episode Harlan Ellison wrote for TOS. It's the Hugo award-winning "The City on the Edge of Forever!" This is the one where Bones get blotchy! We're joined by SEM's...||9/27/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 27: The Alternative Factor: The Elements of Beard Style||We're still watching Star Trek: The Original series, and we're almost through season one! This time, we watched "The Alternative Factor." This one doesn't have Drew Barrymore's dad in it! Also, Chelsea's mom guest stars again. Go follow her on...||9/20/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 26: Errand of Mercy: You Can't Just Call A Guy Kirk||NOTE: THIS VERSION OF THE EPISODE DOESN'T HAVE ANY INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC. THAT FACT WILL NOT CHANGE. I'M SORRY. - We're still watching Star Trek, and you can't stop us! Season one of the original series rolls ever onward with its 26th episode,...||9/14/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 25: The Devil In The Dark: Asbestos Lessons||Our quest to watch every single episode of Star Trek ever continues as we shamble toward the close of the first season of the original series. This week, we watched “The Devil In The Dark." This is the one with the lava monster! Redshirts...||9/7/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 24: This Side of Paradise: Thank You Based Fontana||Our quest to watch every single episode of Star Trek ever continues as we shamble toward the close of the first season of the original series. This week, we watched "This Side of Paradise." This is the one where Spock no longer has tfw no gf! This...||8/30/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 23: A Taste of Armageddon: War Never Changes||We watched "A Taste of Armageddon" from Star Trek: The Original Series this week, and then we talked about it! No guests, just right. This is the one with the serious Cold War overtones! Fox is good at diplomacy but bad at being a decent...||8/25/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 22: Space Seed: VH1's I Love The 90's!||Our endless mission to watch all of Star Trek continues, this time with "Space Seed." This is the episode with Khan! McGivers needs to get her act together and get a better writer, some 90's fashion is predicted almost successfully, and Khan is...||8/17/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 21: The Return of the Archons: We Don't Talk About The Purge||Hey, it's a Star Trek podcast! We watched The Return of the Archons this week. That's the episode where Spock's got a stylish cloak! This time, SEM's dad Pete guest stars. Sulu is never the star, things are different in the valley, and what's good for..||8/12/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 20: Court Martial: I Am The Law||Our fifty year voyage to watch every last episode of Star Trek continues apace. This time, we watch "Court Martial," from season one of Star Trek: The Original Series! This is the one with the court martial. This time, the teaser dares to ask whether...||8/2/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 19: Tomorrow Is Yesterday: R O W D Y B O Y||Our five year mission to watch all of Star Trek continues on apace, this time with the TOS episode "Tomorrow Is Yesterday." This is the one where they time travel again! ... Not the only one. In this episode, time travel is the best thing to happen to..||7/26/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 18: Arena: Gorn to Be Wild||Our five hundred year mission to watch all 728 episodes of Star Trek continues with the TOS episode "Arena." This is the one with the gorn! This time, Chelsea forgets her show notes again, though Memory Alpha saves the day, and we learn way more...||7/20/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 17: The Squire of Gothos: [Castlevania joke]||Greetings and felicitations, listeners! Our neverending mission to watch all of Star Trek continues with the Original series episode "The Squire of Gothos." This is the one with the baby Q! This time, we learn about biomes and ecosystems, Sulu doesn't..||7/12/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 16: The Galileo Seven: FREE THE GALILEO 7||Our five decade mission to watch all of Star Trek continues, with original series episode THE GALILEO SEVEN. This is the one with the giant spears falling from the sky! This week, we learn about quasars and the Folsom point, get sick and tired...||7/5/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 15: Shore Leave:||Our mission to watch every episode of Star Trek continues with TOS episode 15, "Shore Leave!" This is the one with a terrible faux-Irish song! Sorry about this episode's audio quality. Our boys finally get some rest, we meet a new yeoman, and...||6/28/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 14: Balance of Terror: No Country for Old Space Men||The neverending story continues and we yet endeavor to watch all of Star Trek forever; this week we talk about Balance of Terror, the fourteenth episode of the original series! What hijinks do the crew of the Enterprise get in this week? Hint:...||6/14/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 13: The Conscience of the King: You Never Go Full Ophelia||As we continue our five trillion year voyage to watch all of Star Trek, we end up watching some Shakespeare instead! I mean, we watch Star Trek: The Original Series episode 13, "The Conscience of the King." It's the one where Lady Macbeth is played by..||6/7/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 12: The Menagerie pt. 1 & 2: The Cage 2: Electric Boogaloo||This week on our five hundred year mission to watch all of Trek in order, it's episodes 11 & 12 of TOS, "The Menagerie!" This is the one that brings the show's episode numbers in line with the podcast episode numbers! We covered both parts...||6/1/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 11: The Corbomite Maneuver: Please Let My Boy Rest: Please Let All of Them Have a Nice Nap||Our eleventh episode is Star Trek: The Original Series' tenth, The Corbomite Maneuver! This is the one with the spinning cube! This time, we come up with a Hugo-award winning story idea, run the space race, talk about time cube, and find...||5/24/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 10: Dagger of the Mind||Join us as we walk about Star Trek: The Original Series episode 9 - The Dagger of the Mind! This is the one with the memory-erasing beam! This time, we talk about ethics in mind alteration, infra-sensory drugs, mental health and prisons, and...||5/17/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 9: Miri: Bunk Bunk!||Bunk bunk! It's to talk about Star Trek TOS episode 8, Miri! BLAH BLAH BLAH. This time, we talk about Yeoman Rand's confusing job, space viruses, Mad Max vibes, inexplicable earth copies, and BLAH BLAH BLAH. There's nigh-immortal space kids in...||5/10/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 8: What Are Little Girls Made Of?||Another Tuesday, another episode of The Long Trek Home! Thisweek, we watch episode 7 of Star Trek: The Original Series. "WhatAre Little Girls Made Of?" Buddy, if I knew that, I'd be drowningin 'em. This week, we talk about robots. Nurse Chapel...||5/3/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 7: Mudd's Women||The five hundred year voyage to watch every episode of Star Trek continues, with TOS episode 6, "Mudd's Women." This is the one with ... a lot of terrible things, honestly. Too many things for a pithy one-liner! This episode, we talk about sex...||4/26/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 6: The Enemy Within: The Evil Within||Our five hundred year mission to watch all of Star Trek continues, and now it's time for Star Trek: The Original Series episode 5, THE ENEMY WITHIN. This is the one with evil Kirk! The first one. This time, we talk about the measure of...||4/18/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 5: The Naked Time||The five year voyage to watch every episode of Star Trek continues with TOS episode 4, "The Naked Time." This is the one where Sulu takes his shirt off! Sorry for the late episode - Chelsea is sick as a hundred dogs. Enjoy the dulcet tones of...||4/15/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 4: Where No Man Has Gone Before||The five year voyage to watch every episode of Star Trek continues with episode 3, "Where No Man Has Gone Before." This is the one with Gary Mitchell! This podcast, we encounter yet another pilot episode, meet Scotty for the first time, sing...||4/5/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 3: Charlie X||Stardate 69708.8 Our five year voyage to watch all of Star Trek continues with the second episode of the original series, CHARLIE X. In which our omnipotent being count begins, the death count is updated, and we can't figure out if being...||3/29/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 2: The Man Trap: Space Virtue||A Weekly Star Trek Episode Discussion||3/22/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 1: The Cage||Welcome to the inaugural episode, recorded before we were even sure of our own name! Each week, we'll discuss an episode of Star Trek, going from the original series and Next Generation, all the way through to whatever Bryan Fuller reboot madness...||3/15/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
This podcast is extremely good, my dudes.
Kirk walked onto the bridge of the Enterprise and sat down in his captain's chair and let out a loud sigh. Spock eyed the captain logically, "Captain, is something bothering you?"
Kirk shot his first officer a sullen glance, "No, Mr. Spock, I've just recieved a transmission from Earth. It appears that there are these women... On Earth. Transmitting a podcast. About us!"
"Us, captain?" Spock raised an eyebrow, "why does that bother you?"
Kirk threw up his hands, "These women, Spock, they're asking their listeners to write... fiction about the two of us."
"What sort of fiction, captain?"
"Quasi-erotic fan fiction, Mr. Spock"
A loud laugh could be heard eminating from Sickbay.
Kirk brought his hand to his face and rubbed his temples. He groaned, "This is unbefitting of an officer of Starfleet, Mr. Spock. And I won't stand for it."
"Captain, I hardly think that--
"Mr. Sulu!" Kirk cut Spock off, "Set a course for Earth, maximum warp!"
TO BE CONTINUED..........................................
(this podcast is great, Sem and Chelsea are both funny and insightful and their guests are great and very parently)