Your Favorite Band Sucks
By Mark Mosley & Tyler Mahan Coe
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Pro Tip: start with an episode on a band you don’t like! Everyone’s favorite band sucks. That’s a science fact. But it’s a whole lot more comfortable on the Sun’s side of the magnifying glass than the ant’s side. So don’t press play on the episodes about your actual favorite bands, like Sublime, until you’ve laughed along to Mark's and Tyler's dismantling rantings on the entire careers of a few bands everyone should agree are among the very worst things to ever happen to music, like The Beatles.
||ExplicitNine Inch Nails Sucks||This is the McDonald's of goth culture. Goth Daddy Too Buff (a.k.a. Trent Reznor) has been cashing in on teen angst for thirty freakin' years. Think about that for a second. This is a 50-year-old man who's monetized temper tantrums. Give us a break.||7/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSmashing Pumpkins Suck||This episode contains a shocking revelation about the music of Smashing Pumpkins. It's honestly so important that it could end up in the viral news cycle. However, until Buzzfeed rips off our insights, you'll have to listen to the episode to hear it.||6/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Doors Suck||The Doors are the musical equivalent of a 20-year-old who's taken five guitar lessons and one philosophy class. That's gonna seem pretty far ahead of where you are when you're 15. You're not 15. Stop listening to this band.||6/20/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Smiths Suck||Everyone likes this band because it's super impressive that Morrissey, clearly a deaf man, can approximate singing, right? Also, guess what, it ain't just Morrissey. This entire band is the worst. Get ready to get sad about how much The Smiths suck.||6/13/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSteely Dan Sucks||You've been wrong and you always will be wrong until the moment you admit that liking Steely Dan is the audio equivalent of enjoying the smell of your own farts. Nothing about this is as interesting as you think it is.||6/6/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Beastie Boys Suck||It's as if three people were sitting around wondering how stupid any single musical act could possibly be and this is what they came up with. If that's what happened, wow, they nailed it. It doesn't get much worse than this.||5/23/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitFleetwood Mac Sucks||Nobody even really likes this crap, they just think they remember liking it. Revisit those "classic" Fleetwood Mac albums for lessons in trash songwriting, hilariously bad singing and probably the worst production ever heard in a #1 album.||5/16/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSlayer Sucks||What makes a band the heaviest metal band ever? Unless it's ridiculous Satanic imagery, muddy production, subpar musicianship, stupid lyrics and releasing the same album over and over for militant fans... Slayer doesn't have it.||5/9/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSocial Distortion Sucks||Take Fonzie, give him an arsenal of entry-level country music covers and a capo, get Bruce Springsteen to make a trip out to California and explain authenticity to Mike Ness - boom! You just made yourself some Social D, baby!||5/2/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Who Suck||A lot of people think The Who is a great, legendary band. They point to the virtuoso musicianship, great songwriting, genius concept albums and, of course, that rock opera. This would all be well and good, except for the fact that this band sucks.||4/25/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSublime Sucks||Life IS too short so listen to this and learn exactly why you should never waste another second of your existence hearing Sublime. Maybe you think you've got a good idea of how much this band sucks. Trust us, it's worse.||4/18/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitBon Jovi Sucks||Bon Jovi sucks so much Mark and Tyler can't even get worked up over it. Listen as your favorite podcast hosts casually dismantle this band's career until, eventually, with no worthy adversary to team up against, Mark and Tyler turn on each other...||3/7/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitNirvana Sucks||Voted one of the Five Worst Bands of the '90s by Rolling Stone readers in 2013, Nirvana made what BBC listeners in 2005 considered to be the most overrated album ever, Nevermind. So, it's not even up to us, the results are in and Nirvana sucks!||2/28/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitWeezer Sucks||If Weezer were a newly discovered animal species, the Latin name would be dorkus malorkus. The only guy in the band who matters thinks songwriting can be done with formulas and spreadsheets. What more do you need to know? How about some nerdy sexism?||2/21/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Grateful Dead Sucks||It's possible The Grateful Dead smelled even worse than they sounded, which is really saying something. Even their fans agree, this band sucks. The only way anyone tolerated the sound was by being annihilated on drugs. Well, then there's Ann Coulter.||2/14/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitKISS Sucks||All these songs sound like a 13 year old boy talking about what he thinks sex would be like and half the merch is marketed at 10 year olds. Who let this happen? Also, is KISS even a band? Because none of them can write, sing or play an instrument.||2/7/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitInterpol Sucks||Calling Interpol a Joy Division ripoff is so much more than they deserve. Rocking gun holsters onstage seems a lot less cool these days, huh? Yeah, so does this entire band. Don't even try to read their lyrics...||1/31/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitTool Sucks||Tool is the official soundtrack of thinking you're smarter than everyone else. Caveat lector, edgelords. This episode is coming straight for the chinks in your armor. Listen, realizing you're an idiot is never easy but try not to overreact, okay?||1/24/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitRadiohead Sucks||Alright, hands off of each other. The circle jerk is over. Radiohead's sound went from an unoriginal whine to a mess of incompetent IDM. Then, they got to work making it harder for young artists to get a leg up in the business. Radiohead sucks.||1/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Police Suck||The Police hate being called white reggae, which is weird because this is what happens when a self-admitted "fake punk band" tries to rip off reggae. Nobody cares about Summers. Copeland is overrated. Sting is audio blackface.||1/10/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitGreen Day Sucks||Don't feel bad for listening to Mark & Tyler dump on Green Day. They deserve it, maybe more than any other band on the podcast so far. They've stolen more songs than Led Zeppelin, their big political statements are all BS and, well, they suck.||1/3/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitLCD Soundsystem Sucks||This is what would happen if Derek Zoolander started a band. Next time New York City comes up with some trash like this, do everyone a favor and keep it to yourselves.||12/27/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitRed Hot Chili Peppers Suck||Red Hot Chili Peppers are the herpes of music! They destroyed American rock radio, maybe forever. (Like herpes.) Oh, by the way, does anyone happen to know what Anthony Kiedis' favorite state is? Yeah, shut up about California, dude. We get it.||12/20/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitU2 Sucks||U2 may be the single most overrated band on the planet. Saying that U2 sucks is like saying that passing a cluster of kidney stones sucks. Words don't do it justice. Still, Mark and Tyler have bad things to say about U2. Very bad things.||12/13/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitChristmas Music Sucks||Christmas music is nothing less than a form of psychological torture. It's mental warfare on a national scale and there's got to be something we can do to stop it. Mark and Tyler have an idea but they need your help. Please, think of the children.||12/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Rolling Stones Suck||Someone needs to stop The Rolling Stones before they hurt themselves. These guys are disturbingly old and they were never a good band. Tyler's had a long time to think about it. Mark saw The Spin Doctors because of the Stones. He's still mad.||12/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Beatles Suck||Yeah, yeah. You think we think we're edgy for saying The Beatles suck. No, they really do suck. They made bad music and you should feel bad for liking it. Unless you already agree with us, in which case, welcome to your new favorite podcast.||12/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
No sacred cows
Mark and Tyler exercise a non-PC freedom of speech to call out the Emperor's New Clothes as being indefensible and unworthy of its reputation. They center their attack on its most laughable claim, that of being innovative and ground breaking. Fun to hear in its audacity and an intriguing appeal to see sacred cows from another perspective, this refreshingly fearless podcast is both edgey and enjoyable, but for thin-skinned sissies.
Keep it coming
Thanks you twitter for showing me this podcast. It’s very entertaining and I can’t wait for more. Keep me coming boys. I’d love to have researched discussions like these
Fun for the whole family!
I listen to this with my son and he loves it! Keep up the good work!