Painkiller Jane, Season 1Closed Captioning
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Based on the comic book created by Jimmy Palmiotti and Joe Quesada, Painkiller Jane is the story of Jane Vasco (KRISTANNA LOKEN), a DEA agent who is recruited by a covert government organization tasked with capturing “Neuros” – genetically-enhanced individuals who possess superhuman powers of the mind. During the course of her first investigation with the team, Jane inexplicably discovers that she too possesses extraordinary abilities – abilities that render her impervious to injury…but not pain. She develops miraculous regenerative powers, healing from every injury and finding herself stronger than she had been before. As she continues to work with the government to hunt Neuros, Jane tries to uncover the cause of her own transformation and what – if any – connection she shares with the very people she is pursuing.
|1||Closed CaptioningVideoPilot||DEA agent Jane and her partner Maureen Bowers are closing in on an undercover drug deal when, during the take down, Jane discovers two of the 'dealers', Andre and Connor, are actually part of a new government unit who are on a covert mission of their own. But in all the confusion, she’s seen and heard more than she should about a dangerous target – something called a "Neuro" – and now she wants answers.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|2||Closed CaptioningVideoToy Soldiers||A string of thefts involving military equipment puts Jane and the team on high alert for an assassination attempt just days leading up to a presidential visit. But when corpses begin to disappear from nearby cemeteries – seemingly all on their own – and the thefts expand to include sporting goods, Jane (Kristanna Loken) breaks rank and pieces together the clues that lead to an unlikely Neuro.||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|3||Closed CaptioningVideoPiece of Mind||Reports start coming in of people experiencing selective amnesia, losing all knowledge of just one area of their memory. A train runs off the tracks when its veteran engineer can’t remember how to slow it down, a brilliant cardiologist loses all his understanding of medicine, and a software genius can’t figure out basic computer procedures. The only link between the victims is that they have all earned a high degree of expertise on a specific subject.||46:51||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|4||Closed CaptioningVideoCatch Me If You Can||Enjoying a rare evening out, Jane and her date get caught in a sudden cloudburst that leaves them running for the closest shelter – a nearby community center. Jane heads for the washroom to dry off while they wait for the storm to pass. But when she walks in, there’s an envelope taped to the mirror - with her name on it! Inside is a DVD marked “important.” How would anyone know she would be there to find it, when she didn’t even know herself just minutes earlier?||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|5||Closed CaptioningVideoNothing to Fear But Fear Itself||With echoes of a classic horror film, strange events are happening in an unassuming four-story brownstone. The FBI has been using the residence as a safe house for prospective witnesses. But a number of unexplained incidents have occurred in the house and the team is brought in to investigate.||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|6||Closed CaptioningVideoBreakdown||The team interviews a number of psychiatric patients who have all experienced the same terrifying hallucination, leaving them incapable of leading normal lives. While none appear to know each other, all the patients have been found shivering and terrified on the floor, with a tower of chairs and furniture piled high nearby.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|7||Closed CaptioningVideoHigher Court||Maureen is enjoying a rare romantic night out with an old friend when the evening suddenly goes very wrong. Without warning, her date calmly, and deliberately, walks right off the roof top terrace where the two were having dinner, falling to his death. Rattled and grieving, Maureen is convinced a Neuro is behind the strange behavior and insists the team investigate. Reluctantly, the team does some searching and although not convinced the situation involved a Neuro, they uncover some unusual findings.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|8||Closed CaptioningVideoFriendly Fire||Jane wakes up to find herself restrained in a hospital, with no recollection of how or why she got there. Unable to get information from the medical staff, she escapes to find some answers. Successfully outside the hospital, Jane runs into Seth who, instead of helping her, calls the guards and coldly gives her the news – she’s being held for the murder of her teammate and friend, Riley Jensen.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|9||Closed CaptioningVideoTrial By Fire||While on the trail of a Neuro responsible for a string of house fires, Connor is apprehended at the scene and unfairly charged with arson and murder. Unable to defend him with the truth about their investigation and the nature of their operation, the team must race to locate their fire-starting Neuro. But Connor’s dark, criminal past threatens to seal the deal with a jury already leaning towards a conviction. Although Jane and Andre devise a creative plan to keep Connor’s past out of the courtroom, it only buys them a little time. With no motive for the fires and a conflicting pattern to the arsons, the team must scramble to locate the Neuro before Connor is forced to take the fall in order to protect the security of the unit.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|10||Closed CaptioningVideoPortraits of Lauren Gray||The fast-paced world of fashion is stunned when beautiful young models suddenly start dying…of old age. Jane and Maureen hit the runway in an undercover assignment to find the Neuro responsible. While Andre, Connor and Riley run checks on possible suspects, Jane and Maureen squeeze into small outfits and immerse themselves in the high-pressure world of modeling to get information from the inside. It is Jane who comes face-to-face with the Neuro… and a dangerously unconventional fountain of youth.||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|11||Closed CaptioningVideoGhost In the Machine||Connor knows he's having a bad day when he gets burned by his coffee machine, then catches his leg dangerously close to a running motorcycle engine. But Jane suspects his bad luck is not all a coincidence when he just misses the crushing force of a huge metal warehouse door. When reports start coming in of unusual deaths caused by mechanical failure, the victims are all traced back to Connor’s former police squad. The team soon realizes they need to dig into Connor’s past in order to save him from whatever – or whomever – is trying to kill him.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|12||Closed CaptioningVideoSomething Nasty In the Neighborhood||After five people – including a Federal Agent – mysteriously disappear from a too-perfect suburban neighborhood, Jane and Connor go undercover as a happily married couple. But when Jane starts enjoying her role as the perfect housewife and Connor willingly joins the "picnic committee", the team suspects something is getting to their toughest agents, and it’s more than just community spirit. With Jane and Connor no longer acting themselves, Andre, Maureen and Riley must discover what is causing their teammates' sudden personality changes… and find the Neuro behind it all.||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|13||Closed CaptioningVideoThe League||A string of unusual crimes leads Jane and the team on a hunt for Neuros. But every time they get close enough to chip them, someone finishes the job and kills their suspect. It takes a trip down memory lane and a high school yearbook to uncover that their culprits all belonged to a club called "The League of Five". Now the team must find the rest of this extraordinary club and unravel the mysterious actions of "The League". This episode is written by original Painkiller Jane comic book co-creator Jimmy Palmiotti.||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|14||Closed CaptioningVideoThe Amazing Howie||Riley surprises everyone when he reveals his penchant for performing magic tricks. When he is beaten in a competition by a fellow magician’s "impossible" tricks, he starts his own Neuro investigation. But once the team is involved and the Neuro hunt is on, Riley fears he has made a mistake. Now, without any help from a magic wand, he has to figure out how to save his friend from his own team.||46:41||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|15||Closed CaptioningVideoThe Healer||In an attempt to "heal" herself of her own abnormal abilities, Jane secretly visits a faith healer. Concerned that his inexplicable powers may be Neuro related, Jane starts a covert investigation of her own. When the team suspects someone is sabotaging a separate Neuro case, Jane starts to think her "healer" may be the culprit. But it’s a shocking surprise for everyone when they finally discover the true identity of the saboteur and Jane must take her own leap of faith.||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|16||Closed CaptioningVideoThanks for the Memories||Jane’s life is turned upside down in a matter of minutes. Without warning, her boyfriend Brian doesn’t recognize her and the command centre is suddenly just a rundown, empty subway station. An urgent call from Andre reveals that the unit has been shut down and their teammates Connor and Riley have been killed. He offers a stern warning that they’re after her too. Confused and fearing this really is the end of the operation and her own life, Jane seeks out a way to record information about the team and their work before its all too late and all record of their existence is erased.||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|17||Closed CaptioningVideoPlayback||The day starts for Jane with a phone call from Andre giving her the news that their suspected Neuro is planning to assassinate the Chinese Minister of Foreign Affairs. Armed with his location, the team closes in on the Neuro. Just as Connor is about to chip the would-be assassin, the room inexplicably morphs into a vortex of white.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|18||Closed CaptioningVideoJane 113||The team's decamping and talking about their vacation plans. Everyone except a moody Jane. Brian, her beau, bailed on basking on a St. Thomas beach in favor of a boring business trip. Just when you are sure this will be an episode about a crabby, indestructible woman alphabetizing her day-of-the-week underwear, Riley's computers come to life. Simon, a memory-sucking Neuro chipped but not shipped in the episode "Thanks for the Memory", has broken house arrest.||46:49||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|19||Closed CaptioningVideoWhat Lies Beneath||The team jets off to Hungary, but it's not a relaxing European jaunt. A half-dozen Neuros have busted out of NICO, the overseas internment center. Perhaps they didn't like the forced Thriller re-enactment in the yard? Anyway, Jane and Co. must round them up.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|20||Closed CaptioningVideoThe Beast of Bolnar||The team is still hanging out in Hungary to ensure NICO inmates get proper care. To get his fix of local nightlife, Connor heads to nearby Bolnar, a town brimming with Old World charm and carnage. Connor learns about this firsthand while playing darts at a watering hole. One of the locals tells him it's unwise to leave the bar between 8 p.m. and 9 p.m. — anyone outside gets slaughtered by the Beast of Bolnar.||46:51||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|21||Closed CaptioningVideoReflections||Andre has a "fancy meeting you here" moment when he runs into Sarah, an old flame who's now a NICO resident. Sarah had a habit of walking through walls before Andre chipped her, so she can't do that anymore. Or can she? Later that day, a woman enters a government official's office through the eggshell interior wall paint and breaks into his safe to steal some Neuro files. For a grand finale, she thrusts her hand into the official's chest and rips out his heart. Funny thing: She looks a lot like Sarah. Boy, Andre sure can pick 'em.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
|22||Closed CaptioningVideoEndgame||Exhausted and looking forward after a busy visit to Budapest's NICO center, Jane and Co. pack for home. But there's a hitch in their travel plans: A killer lurks in the building, hell-bent on erasing the entire Neuro-hunter operation. Perfect. Right when they were ready for an uneventful season-ender.||46:50||$1.99||View in iTunes|
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Another failed Sci-Fi Channel show.
Sci-Fi channel has had a really bad track record with originally produced shows. Besides that, it also has a really bad habit of canceling good and critically acclaimed shows before they are allowed to get off the ground (Invisible Man) or at the peak of their success (Farscape). This is not the case. Save its' recent successes, Sci-Fi channel has had a string of one season misfires. This is another in a long list. First off the show has very little to do with the Comic Book from which the basic premise was taken (that I don’t really mind & kinda expected). They instead take an original concept and slap a generic sci-fi template on it mixed in with cliche’ story lines and dreadful and completely un-original writing. That combined with the caliber of acting on par with that of your typical upstate mediocre community theater group, save Kristianna Loken. Not because she is good, but because she frankly makes William Hung look Oscar worthy. Her deadpan monotone and passionless performance frankly makes me wince in everyone of her scenes. The characters are unlikable and frankly I found myself rooting for their demise. Painkiller Jane is a poor attempt at being a hip and provacative sci-fi cop drama. It does have one redeeming quality though, its slightly better than Flash Gordon.
A. This show certainly is not as bad as some reviewers would like you to think. B. This show isn't as good as 5 stars. It's based on a graphic novel, and is fun, and enjoyable to watch. Due to some of the graphic violence, in my opinion, it's not a pre-teen show. If you watch more than one episode, you get involved with trying to solve the not too subtle mystery surrounding Jane, and the true nature of whom she works for. It's worth a watch if you are a comic, and/or sci-fi fan. The show has promise. My real rating is 3.5 stars, but I rounded it up.
As much as I used to adore Loken, this show is just plain bad. This is the type of show that encourages you to turn off the TV and read. Sci-fi should pay US to watch this show, not the other way around. You've been warned...